


Panic

by TobyJoeArmstrong



Category: Green Day
Genre: Angst, Anxiety Disorder, Bike, Fluff, Panic Attack, billie joe armstrong/mike dirnt - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-30
Updated: 2017-01-30
Packaged: 2018-09-20 19:38:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 814
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9509678
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TobyJoeArmstrong/pseuds/TobyJoeArmstrong
Summary: Billie has a panic attack and Mike helps him through it.





	

Billie Joe Armstrong was depressed. It wasn't something easily hidden, especially when you're in a famous punk band, but Billie still managed to keep quiet. He wasn't used to it though, he had always spoken his mind, but this was something entirely different. He would often find himself locked away in his room, shaking and unable to speak until the anxiety passed. Some days he would be so depressed that he couldn't bring himself to get out of bed. On others, he would just sit on the floor and not move. He would simply let his thoughts wash over him until he got so tired that he passed out. 

On one particularly bad day, Billie had left band practice early because he felt sick. This was partially true, he did feel sick. So sick, in fact, that he could barely play the guitar, his fingers would shake on the strings and his voice would waver. Mike and Tre had been sympathetic, and with a quick goodbye, Billie Joe was gone. 

\---

"Was that weird or what?" Tre muttered to Mike as they were leaving the studio. 

"Maybe he has a hangover or something?" Mike offered, but he knew that wasn't true. Billie hadn't gone out in a few days now. 

"Doubt it," Tre sighed. 

"I think I'm gonna go check on him," Mike decided, pulling his keys out of his pocket. 

"D'ya want me to go with you?" the younger man asked.

"Nah, it's fine, I got this," Mike said, and with that, he was gone. 

\---

Upon entering his home, Billie Joe had already begun to tremble so badly that he could barely walk. He stumbled to his bedroom and fell onto the bed, curling himself into a tight ball. Panic attacks came in all shapes and sizes, and Billie was familiar with them all, but he could never get used to the way his throat closed up as he sobbed, or the way he would clench his fists around the sheets as if his life depended on it. In some ways, it did. In his panic ridden mind, holding onto something was the only way he could keep himself grounded. 

He had begun to hyperventilate now, eyes screwed shut. He could feel the fear in his gut, the fight or flight reflexes had kicked in, but he couldn't move. After years of suffering from this, he had learned that he had to ride the wave until it passed, hoping he wouldn't drown. 

"Bill?" called a voice. 

The man in question's eyes shot open, quickly trying to silence himself. He had to keep this a secret, he couldn't burden anyone with his fucked up problems. 

"Billie Joe, where are you?" the voice, Mike's voice, called out again. 

"I-" Billie started, but his voice cracked. Clearing his throat, he tried again, "I'm in my bedroom, I'll be out in a minute."

Mike had either not heard or chose to ignore it, because at that moment he opened the door and walked in.

"Woah, what's wrong?" Mike asked, shocked to see his friend in such a state. 

Billie wiped his face and sat up, refusing to meet Mike's eyes. "I, uh, I just sort of-" he said, but another sob wracked through him. 

Mike, not missing a heartbeat, rushed to the bed and sat down with the black haired boy. "Bill, it's okay, it's fine," he said, gently pushing his friend back down. Mike quickly joined him, wrapping his arms around Billie protectively.

A million thoughts were coursing through Billie Joe's head, varying from things like "thank god he's here," or "I'm a fucking waste of space," or "I'm so sorry," etc.

"I-I'm sorry," he choked out, hating himself for letting himself be such a burden. 

"It's okay, I promise. Everything's going to be alright. I promise," Mike reassured him, pleased to feel Billie nudging himself into Mike, trying to get closer. 

Minutes passed as Billie rode his panic attack out. Mike held him closely, occasionally murmuring that everything would be okay, or stroking his friend's dark hair. Eventually, Billie calmed down and was left with nothing but guilt. 

"What happened?" Mike asked after making sure that Billie was ready to speak. 

"I'm sick," he said quietly. 

"Yeah, you told us-" 

"No, not like that. I have fucking anxiety or depression or some shit. I'm fucked up," Billie Joe said, finally admitting his secret. 

"Why didn't you tell us?" Mike asked after a few moments of painful silence. 

"Didn't want to bother you," Billie whispered, too scared to speak any louder. 

"Bill, you aren't bothering me or anyone else. We love you so incredibly much, there's no way you could burden us," Mike said gently. "It's okay to be like this, hell, a ton of people are like that. You aren't alone," Mike said, tightening his grip on Billie. 

"...Promise?" he asked hesitantly. 

"I promise," Mike replied.


End file.
